Hi mum been thinking about you alot as always.miss you so so much feel like ive been so busy lately but still your always there with me in everything i do,i try to keep busy mum so that i can function cause if i dont it all falls apart.so dont ever think im not thinking of you because i do constantly i just cant express it cause in a way i block and pretend it hasnt happened.i know thats silly but whatever gets me through at the moment.i know it will never get easier and i know ill just carry on missing you more and more as time goes by but at least i know as every year goes by its one year closer to seeing you so at least thats something to look forward to.you are in my heart every day and not a minute goes by that im not absolutely devastated but i just have to do what i do and try and bury everything that happened deep down inside,its to painful to think of.like the worst possible pain a human being can go through i honestly never knew that such pain was possible or even exsisted but i suppose thats just a reflection of how much i love you.im so lost without you just so lost.love you always mum even after im long gone from this earth. love you endlessly xxxxxxxx
