mum i miss you so so much.my best friend in the world ill never understand why u had to go away, why did it have to happen to us....we were so close.i cant believe it happened, just cant except it i find it so hard its like it was a horrific dream i had that night and it hasnt really happened to me.im still waiting to wake up and u will be there all smiles and making me laugh like always.the pain almost cripples me wen i realise thats not going to happen it almost stops my heart with shock.i do my best to block it out best i can so i feel like im living in an alternative reality but it helps.if it wasnt for tracey mum i think i would of layed down and and never woke up again shes held my hand and been here for me every step of the way.i honestly wouldnt of survived the devastation without her,shes helped me back to life slowly and thats all through her love for you.its been so hard for everyone we all love you so much nothing will ever fill the void.my love for you my wonderful strong amazing mum is eternal and i will miss you every day till i see you again xxxxxxxxx